Tuesday, May 24, 2016

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"Whoa", he cried out, wide-eyed, as he walked into my booth at the market with a few of his friends, "is this like chain-mail?"

I must have stood there for only a fraction of a second with my jaw open, but it sure felt like longer. "Well...", I began.

But his friend interrupted, with a loud exclamation of "What kind of an idiot are you? Of course it isn't like chain-mail. It is chain-mail, you dolt."

"That's a bit more blunt than I would have phrased it, but yes, he's essentially right. It is chain-mail."

I just love the questions like that. They expose a certain something, a definite "je ne sais quoi", about people. And really, I don't know what it is, but it sure says something.

Usually the question is more like, "But is it real?"

I always want to answer, "No, it's an illusion." It's as if jewelry made of something other than 24 karat gold is somehow no longer within the realm of reality.

"Do you make it all by hand?"

This one has a few different responses, depending on my mood. "No. I use my feet." Or perhaps, "Actually, it's done with mirrors." Or even the more accurate, "I use pliers."

"But will it stop a sword?"

"Of course," I guarantee. "It will stop any balloon sword out there."

"What about arrows?"

"Nerf arrows."

They always say that there is no such thing as a stupid question, but I respectfully disagree. There really are some stupid questions out there. Al Jaffee got it right. (Google it, if you must.)

And then my favorite: "But it's not real chain-mail, is it?"

Well, that all depends on what you mean by "real chain-mail", doesn't it? If you're referring to armour, or protective clothing, then no, I wouldn't consider it real. If you're referring to interlocking rings making up a fabric, then yes, it is. And if you only think of chain-mail as real if it'll stop a blow, then I would guess that you have more serious issues to worry about.

But best of all was the macho dude who came and put on an actual piece of armour, the sword-stopping shirt kind, and turned to his buddy and said, "Go ahead, hit me." Who promptly cold-cocked him right on the jaw.

2 comments:

  1. "But best of all was the macho dude who came and put on an actual piece of armour, the sword-stopping shirt kind, and turned to his buddy and said, "Go ahead, hit me." Who promptly cold-cocked him right on the jaw."

    I would have liked to see (and laugh at) that!

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  2. Balloon swords and Nerf arrows... Perfect answers!

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